F&$! Flip flops

I love flip flops.  I wore them all the time from mid March thru October.  And now I can't wear them. And I probably never will wear them again.  When you are fat, you tend to shy away from clothing stores.  Especially when you are with non fat friends.  So I loved shoes.  With a passion.  Nothing expensive.  Nothing flashy.   But I loved shoes.  Especially flip flops.

So, I was driving home, all alone, from a shoe store the other day.  I had been there with a wonderful woman who was trying so hard to help me find a pair of shoes to fit my new legs. I call them my new legs, they are AFO's (ankle foot orthotics).  They correct the foot and toe drop I have.  I have to wear men's size 10 wide shoes to make the AFO fit correctly in my shoes.  And on my drive home, without any shoes, because the only ones that fit looked like Frankenstein shoes, I kept saying out loud "F&$! flip flops, I don't need them!"

My brother in law is getting married in August.  The kids and Brett are in the wedding.  I need a pair of shoes.  I cannot wear these bright Hulk green shoes.  I need a long dress to cover up my AFO's.  I will find a pair of shoes that will work.  

A year ago today, I woke up from a nap and both of my arms were numb.  That sent me to the Doctor and down a path we never bargained for.  I was diagnosed on December 11 with an autoimmune disease called Chronic Inflammatory Demylenating Polyneuropathy (CIDP).  I have read it described as rarer cousin to Multiple Sclerosis that causes damage to the peripheral nervous system as opposed to the central nervous system.   

CIDP has taken a lot away from me and my family.  I cannot walk without the aid of a cane.  I cannot go up the stairs easily.  I am tired a lot.  Our 4 year old is living with my sister.  But it will not take away my sense of humor.  It will not take away my love for my family.  And so what if I can't wear flip flops.  FUCK FLIP FLOPS!