Dead fish

I took the kids to a friends house this summer.  She has an amazing pool.  The kids got in, Gabe and Isaac had their floaties on.  Everyone was safe.   I was pretty sure I could have gotten into the pool with the kids, the problem was making it back out.  I got down to the edge of the pool, took off my AFO's and put my feet in the pool.  While my friend was inside, I was looking at my feet.  My left foot was strong enough to resist the water.  My right foot, however, was not.  It was floating like a dead fish, with the tide.  I could not stop it.  It was such a weird feeling.  It is moments like these that remind me that I am "sick".  Most days, I just go with it.   

I remember one time reading that Michael J. Fox just goes with the ticks that come with his Parkinson's.  He does not spend time fighting to hold them back because it wears him out.  Most days, I just go with the flow.  I don't try to fight it.  If I fight it, it wears me out.  Physically and emotionally. 

I dropped a watermelon.  Out of the fridge.  On to the drawer in our fridge that was already broken.  And on to the floor.  A WHOLE WATERMELON.  15 minutes before I had to go and get the kids from school.  It was a mess.  First, I said SHIT.  Then Isaac promptly said shit as well.  I told Isaac not to say shit.  Isaac and I spent 15 minutes cleaning up watermelon. 

I guess that I forgot that I was too weak to hold a watermelon with one hand.  I spend a lot of time just trying to forget what has happened.  Maybe not forget it, but just go with it.

School has started.  We are just like every other family this time of year.  Nuts. Getting back in the routine of life.  I have been trying to get my insurance to pay for the new IVig schedule. Brett is going out of town again.  I have IvVg next week.  Our schedule next week is nuts. 

I am just trying to go with.

For my mom, just go with it.  Enjoy it.  Live in the moment.  

All my love.